Descended from terrible people who did terrible things in terrible times

When I was little Ultima IV taught me one of the eight virtues is humility. I don't think I understood the meaning of humility. Tori Amos told me That for 15 minutes a day She was totally honest with herself Even though it hurt like hell Well, Tori, whatever I thought you meant, I've been doing it 15 hours a day I'm keeping busy, I'm in the loop I keep it real, I keep it raw If I never rise, how can I fall? Became an autodidact of automalediction As if the price of absolution is mere admission (Relinquish the anguish) It's part of me (Relinquish the anguish) It's my favorite part (Relinquish the anguish) Where would i be Without self-flagellating corrupted honesty Relinquish the anguish Give in to fantasy You're deluded, dying from your death grip On reality You think you'll win a prize, O miser of misery? You think you live in victory, Unimpeachable killjoy With a six foot radius? Well you don't get to win, I decree it You must give in To love

The primal soup inside of me Resonates sympathetically To the churning of the centrifuge So i don't care if i lose The synovia that spurts through rifts In chasms, crags, crevices and cliffs Draws me by scent like sweet ambrosia Until i spurt my own synovia The flowing lymph that conducts my thoughts Was not available to be bought But so rudely was freed from my person And now broadcasts without rehearsing The saliva that drips love and affection And stales and sours toward resentment Was harvested daily, nightly, twilightly Now just fortnightly, i think it wrong rightly The puddles of semen i don't like to step in Once were easy to circumnavigate But they aptly crafted a way of wafting To evade evasion, provoking hate Fancy-type hoodlums and highwaymen Ambush erstwhile pedestrians Drag them through carwashes of tears... Scrub'd and suds'd every day for years The urine that circulates through the conduits And warms the whole hull of this ship Is our constant hearth from without A womb that insulates us from doubt The primal soup inside of me Resonates sympathetically To the churning of the timpani A thousand miles beneath the sea Beneath the crust, beneath the mantle There's nothing you can trust, nothing you can handle There's no compass down at the core Just depravity and more The lugubrious and fecund sea Pollinated by your gore The shards and shafts and poison math Refracted through the orb The cringing clustered lifeforms Still clinging to their sentience Are rendered dumb in more ways than one By the coming of a great irrelevance The seed will soon unseat the seal Tamping down the teeming dream Teams will turn the seed to veal You'll read it in your feed and scream Those who breathe will seeth and breed And want to need to sow the seed To scratch at the skein in fun frustration A dubious tribute to tribulation Those keen to thread around the head And blind the brain and block the mind Tune out tune in loom out looming Anything to deaf-ear the typhooning Some listen like Odysseus Just for bragging rights I guess It doesn't pay, only leaves them useless Quivering heaps of pointless puceness So takes your choice, it's free and easy One eye open and one eye nope-ing And one in between that's just ajar Waxing or waning, can't tell thus far

Number of sexual partners, often inflated by men and deflated by women Personal income and earnings, often inflated when low and deflated when high Feelings of low self-worth and/or powerlessness, often denied Excretory functions, often approached uncomfortably, if discussed at all Compliance with medicinal dosing schedules, often inflated Religion, often either avoided or uncomfortably approached Patriotism, either inflated or, if denied, done so with a fear of other party's judgment Bigotry and intolerance, often denied, even if it exists within the responder Intellectual achievements, often inflated Physical appearance, either inflated or deflated Acts of real or imagined physical violence, often denied Indicators of charity or "benevolence", often inflated Illegal acts, often denied

Never venture! Never gain! Never dare to make a claim No loose talk that you can't prove Never add something you can't remove Never take on any weight You're accountable don't forget Don't pretend don't be a poseur Always maintain your composure Let me freeform freely Maybe they will believe me Let me do as I feel Let me be revealed No! Never venture! Never gain! Never dare to make a claim No loose talk that you can't prove Never add something you can't remove Never take on any weight You're accountable don't forget Don't pretend don't be a poseur Always maintain your composure Just hide in your hidey-hole Where what no one sees no one gets That is one way that I know For all promises to be kept

In the blue-green light Where you unfold your quietude Cheap bulbs render homeworld Den of secrecy, fantasy One part drifts out window Under mauve taupe sky One part sinks into teal And soaks in wordless Shared breaths Some grave intrigue Unspecified Some need for urgency Interpenetrate and spiralize Under blue-green light And mauve taupe sky Interpenetrate and spiralize

Every agonizing orgy of ornament, every floral fractal peeling back lips and letting loose the hoarse scream of the horse in hot want of rut, petals of flesh straining unto tearing, every split seam exhibitionistically gushing forth its searing synovia, the hair pulled ever tauter, torturous braids of impossibly byzantine convolution by hungry hands reeling in fistfuls from both directions, the perfect bones budding through the skin, blooming into full tessellation, beckoning, old art of old stone old worms old dirt and dry throat dry heaves crying eyes bleeding.

In the night you arrive. Weight sank into your face and your feet carried out their work. The sound of the floor, the room is large. You step out into the open air and breath in years. You depart in all directions.