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The 2076 US Tricentennial Exhibition in Philadelphia will feature the unveiling of a time machine. As according to my instructions, George Korein, the Trilonaut, will carry out destiny. It's a simple plan, really. All he has to do is cull a motley gang of horseshoe crabs from Delaware, instill a gene-altering eldritch superserum into thousands of Philly pretzels, infuse them with Mollusk flavoring to entice the crabs to subsist on the pretzels until they have matured into magical mind-melding munificent monstrosities, teach them to play searing, solipsistic rock art, and smuggle them on stage at the exhibition with gear in hand to inundate all present with a soundstream potent enough to polymorph any multicellular being. We are taking it back, far back, far far back… five hundred million years ago…
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2. |
I Got It Done
03:05
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Finished the album, saw the shrink
Had my car detailed
Brought my junk to goodwill
Said "sorry I failed"
Signed the paperwork
Forgave my parents for some small things
Got a license, biked around and walked the hound
Tried to learn to sing
I got it done
I got it done
10 years after it was due
I got it done
Does that not prove
I get it done
So look here, you
Returned the call, recorded that sound
Ate that food that was sitting around
Came out of hibernation for a day
Even remembered what I was going to say
Had a cup of tea in the morning
A glass of red wine at night
Did those ten push-ups I'd been planning
Thought I glimpsed the light
I got it done
I can scratch it off
10 years after it was due
I can check the box
Does that not prove
I get it done
So look here, you
For a moment there I felt functional
And I must say, it felt wonderful
There's so much more I need to do
Years of backlog to clear through
That's why I have to stay alive
Another century
Or two
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3. |
Hazards
02:15
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I put on my clothes straight from the dryer
They were so warm they set me on fire
Shortly thereafter I died in the blaze
My corpse was real smoky, it smoldered for days
I walked too hard, I stepped too strong
I shattered my leg, I landed on my arm
Bone stuck through my skin and into my eye
And through to my brain and that's how I died
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4. |
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Preposterous sarcophagus in the penthouse pyramid
Posthumous ultralux in the penthouse pyramid
Yertle the Turtle's bones way up on Odin's throne
Dead dreaming on panopticonic perch
The lookout lapsed into reverie
And collapsed into the sea
Yertle's corpse still lords over the works
Conspicuous cash coffin locked away from taxation
Megalomaniacal mega-mausoleum
Sky high sarcophagi multiply
Oligarchs entombed in glass
Paid a pretty penny for a way to say
"We die higher than you live"
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5. |
Pineapple Boot
03:57
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A firefly smoked himself
And the smoke went toward Florida
Now all that's left is a pineapple boot
'Cause I'm the only one
Who smoked myself in a bun
Because a robber chased me
And turned himself into a potato peach
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6. |
Me For No One
02:09
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There is me for no one
Let there be no uncertainty
I know that I'm no fun
But I know I love no one
Because no one can tolerate me
Even at my worst
Because no one can give me what I need and what I want
Even when they are at odds
Yes, I'm in love with no one
And no one loves me too
Because you are no one
And no one is you
There is me for no one
Unmistakably
I know that I'm no fun
But I know I love no one
There is me for no one
Irrevocably
I know that I'm no fun
But I know I love no one
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7. |
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(Instrumental)
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8. |
Thissed By That
04:05
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Now!
I alight from nowhere,
Hidden in the nether realm
Descend from air portal
A scourge from above,
Wildly waving the tools of my trade
I invert the bucket and proceed to scoop,
You're slathered in spackle, there is no escape
Your body's perimeter is encased in goop,
Soon to crust over, inculcate and flake
Surely this will be of detriment to your complexion
You must scrub and wash, moisturize, exfoliate
And so you are rendered prone to I, the merciless
Your shackling, cackling, spackling captor and master of your fate
Thissed by that
Thissed by that, you've been
Thissed by that
Thissed by that you have been
I'm suspended with hooks from suction cups affixed to the ceiling
Tremendously inconvenienced, I have been
I have claimed the discomfort that is my birthright
My respiration is strained and irregular
Subluxations occur in my lumbar vertebrae
Mucus slithers from sinuses to drip out the nostrils
I am helpless to wipe my nose
My body is wracked with sneezes, victim of allergies
Who must I appease to be released from this grief?
Thissed by that
Thissed by that, I've been
Thissed by that
Thissed by that I have been
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