1. |
Automating Season
03:06
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Hold in hand
What holds my hand
To broadcast and receive
In mobile cell
Many windows
Predictive text
Guess what’s next
Autotune
Autocorrect
Autocomplete
Autosuggest
Auto-maton
Automation
Automatron
Auto-matron
Awe, indignation
Autopopulate all the population
Automating season is at hand
So popular to pander
To resent what we wedded
So easy to slander
The handiness embedded
The sum of all jeremiads
Such a quaint faint feint
Life is an information superhighway
I’m gonna ride it all night wrong
Autotune
Autocorrect
Autocomplete
Autosuggest
Auto-maton
Automation
Automatron
Auto-matron
Awe, indignation
Autopopulate all the population
Automating season is at hand
Automating season is on
Automating season is at hand
Automating season is on
Automating season is at hand
Automating season is on
To be held indefinitely
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2. |
You Know What's Weird?
04:34
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People say the word “weird" when they really mean "bad".
People say that I'm weird, do they mean that I'm bad?
(Sometimes) I think that I'm bad and I don't think that's weird
More accurate to say that I'm lazy and scared
Broad, vague, euphemistic
Go-to word so you need not be specific
Then there is the fabled "good weird"
Spice as antidote for the humdrum
People say David Lynch is weird, I don't think he's that good
People say The Residents are weird, I think they are that good
I tried to be weird once, when I was nine.
I ran around yelling "Oatmeal!", with Beth, at Shelly Ridge.
My mom told me it was really annoying,
So I stopped.
I met Becca when I was fifteen.
I rambled for forever about whatever.
I thought I was calm and clear.
She told Matt Hollenberg that I was weird.
At seventeen, Anna said
"People say he says weird things.
He does weird things.
I want to know why.
Why does he say weird things?
Why does he do weird things?
I want to go inside your head."
I said "That can be arranged."
Two weeks later she called
"It's not you, it's me."
Is that strange?
I'll answer that rhetorical question
Posed for rhyme's sake:
No, no it's not.
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3. |
The Specialist
02:45
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You are tardy, yes, you dawdle
You sass with too much cheek
You talk back and get smart
And I've seen the things you sneak
You ought to know we know a number
We can make a prompt appointment
We've catalogued your faults
He'll provide a potent ointment
The Specialist
Instruments and implements in his white coat
The Specialist
House calls in his white van
The Specialist
You can’t dispute the doctor's orders
The Specialist
Better than the boogie man
You should meet “our mother the monster”
and Uncle Gunnysack
The bag man, the sack man, the small man,
The lung-crushing old hag
You know who knows when you are sleeping
And knows when you’re awake
And knows if you’ve been bad or good
Love the way Santa makes the vermin quake
7 O'Clock Man is always on time
Great Black Bird rules the sky
Mitten-biter longs to get his mitts on your mitts,
You little shits know why
The hookman and the fat extractor
Cook a stew that’s out of sight
The Master of Midnight is ten kids tall,
With a ten kid quota each night
The old woman with horns is demonic,
The Eating Beast is ravenous
The Deep-Voiced Man sounds like Ken Nordine,
Resonant and cavernous
Copperpenis Owl knows how to make an impression,
But no one brings as much precision to the profession as
The Specialist
When he sees you we’ll see results
The Specialist
Venig dummkopf, you’ll get set straight
The Specialist
Foremost in his field
The Specialist
I bet he can’t wait
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4. |
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The car walks for me
The TV reads to me
Microwave cooks for me
The network feeds to me
Let people think for me
I like it free and easy
I lay on the shoulders of giants
I've got it down to a science
Now all I need
The final measure
Have the fun for me
Relieve the burden of pleasure
Radio, sing to me
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5. |
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Mummify all the animals
In the dusk of your empire
When everything's on fire
When it's come down to the wire
Wash them in and out with wine
Salt them, pickle them in briny brine
Give them their lives again without mistakes
Save their hearts from crocs and snakes
Mummify all the humans
When your hive is on the brink
When faced with colony collapse,
It really makes you think
Encapsulate them in beeswax,
The slavers who laid Nature low
Reclaim your honey
Sacrifice them to the queen of queens
Aristaeus of Greece,
Austeja of Lithuania,
Bhramari of India,
Colel Cab of the Maya,
Melissa of Minoa,
Mellona of Rome,
All false.
The true name of the one bee deity, the one true bumblebeeity, is unpronounceable in human tongue, and can only be invoked by waggledance.
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6. |
First and Final Eggsit
03:20
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This octopus, majestic gargoyle
Static looming sentinel
Unsleeping beauty tends her eggs
Her gentle movements keep their water fresh
As the clutch of eggs slowly grows,
Year by year, she is diminished
Where is the father, galavanting?
Chowing on crabs and young octopus
Stacking shells of coconuts
Chewed his own tentacle, grabbed a rubber duck
Her skin once vivid royal purple
Deeply textured, now gone pale and slack
We offer food, but she declines
53 month fast and the mother martyr dies
Why? Please spread your octopus wings
Why? Please do all octopus things
When is your day in the sun,
What sunlight there is in the deep?
Could Eggdad eggsit for a shift,
Release you from the clutches you keep?
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7. |
I Could Be High
03:37
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I could be high
They would know why
I’m always late
And why I can't stay awake
I could be high
They would know why
I'm always behind
And can’t think straight
I could be high
They would know why
I am not listening
I could be high
They would know why
I can’t account for my time
I could be high
I would know why
I don’t really try
They would know why
Plus I’d be high
I’ve heard it feels great! (Woo!)
They would know why
I did not reply
Or notify
Did not convey
Or relay
The chance slipped away
They would know why
They cannot rely on me
To follow through
Or keep an eye
On what I need to oversee
I made that riff
When I was in Portland
Legally high as hell
What do you think about that riff, folks
Did cannabis serve me well?
Standing in the hotel bathroom
Wife and kid asleep
Phone laid down by the sink
Sliding my finger back and forth
Laying down magnificent clavinet glissandos
The original drum part didn't the cut though
You'll just have to use your mind's ear
To imagine how fantastic that was
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8. |
Unlock Achievement
07:07
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If I schedule more reminders
If I fill the calendar
If I set the notifications
If I read only the right articles
If I use the mindfulness app
If I take more notes
And actually read them
If I remember the ideas I had in the shower
Long enough to transcribe them
If I unplug for just long enough
To detox and return in time
If I download the right apps
If I arrange my desktop
If I reconfigure my settings
If I listened more than stared
If I mastered this cybernetic appendage
Could I unlock achievement?
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9. |
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The measure of your steps
The record of your words
The transcript of your voice
The charting of each choice
The assistant listens well
And can always tell
The device is keeping tabs
The data’s in the labs
The tabs are tabulated
The tables tābulated
The collection collated
Infallibly calculated
The statistics sadistically crunched
The percentiles have been weighted
The standards deviated
They know how you spend your days and nights
They know how to live well and don’t know your rights
So let it be written on the tablets
You have been weighed in San Jose
And found wanting
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10. |
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George Korein and the Spleen recommends:
Curdle Speaks EP (feat. George Korein)
by Eric Slick
Collaboration with Eric Slick
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